“You've got your sun in Taurus, moon in Cancer, ascendant in Libra, Venus in Libra, Juno in Pisces; of course you feel lost without a relationship,” Bruno said, mulling over Elaine's astrology results.
“I have no idea what any of that means,” she muttered, flicking through her magazines. She toed Bruno, who hunched over his laptop, at the foot of her bed.
“No; but I do!” Bruno crowed, typing away. “You're totally screwed, with your love-life, yo.”
“That's not what I wanted to hear, bro,” Elaine whined, toeing him harder. “Give me some hope, at least.”
“Okay, for one thing,” Bruno started, cocking his head at her, his hat almost toppling off of his poofy head. “Don't put, 'I'm a shy girl; some people say that I'm too nice,' on your next profile.”
“Why not?” Elaine asked, shifting her position to get a better look at Bruno's screen; it was too far away to make any sense out of the astrology wheel. Not like she knew what any of the little red/blue lines meant to her, anyway.
“Let's just say, it gives you away as a total needy-Taurus; no one needs the whole, 'shy until you get to know me', 'sugar and dandelions' perception. You've gotta hype up your other qualities: you're charming, and love to develop secure, functional relationships.”
“David was a Libra-Scorpio; what about that didn't work, for us, again?” Elaine asked, moving closer to Bruno. She took off his hat, and seated it atop her own head. The bowl of the hat sank, the brim covering her eyes. “Damn you, and your awesome fashion sense.”
“And, my big head.” He took his hat back.
“Yeah, really.” She curled up with her pillow propped under her head, so that she could lie facing the screen. Even up close, the astrology wheel looked insane and undecipherable. “So...”
“Ah, right; David. Well, it's really about his moon sign. The whole combo made him twice as possessive as you. I mean, dude, he practically smothered you with his stalker-affections.”
“He was so cute, though. I wish he'd been different, so we'd have gotten along.”
“Ah, yes. The inevitable trophy boyfriend. Gotta love those.”
“Hey; I only had the one. Besides, it was a nice change from being the trophy myself, for once.” She poked at Bruno's keyboard, doing nothing, aside from making the page scroll down.
“Cut that out, yo. That's annoying as fuck. Besides, I'm totally checking what all your houses are in.”
“Gemini, cancer.. wah, wah, wah.” Elaine got up, and headed for the door. “I gotta take a piss. Any requests?”
“A tall, dark, handsome dude, with a total love for Bach?”
“Sometimes it makes me cry eyeliner tears that you're totally faggin' it up without me,” Elaine said, leaving the room.
“It's not too late for you to go all dykerific, and join me,” Bruno's voice called after her. “You know that the ladies totally dig you!”
“Augh, why don't guys?!” she shouted back, padding her way to the 2nd floor bathroom. After coming back out, a short time later, she found Bruno missing from her room. “Are you in the kitchen, bro?”
“No,” his voice drifted from the 1st floor. “I'm seeking more hair gel, downstairs.”
“Well, you hurry that fine ass back up here!” She sat back down, on her bed.
Bruno came back up, and paused in her doorway. “Well, now, let's talk about them thar houses of yours – and David's – and knock some sense in to you, before you get all nostalgic, and phone him again, tonight.”
