Van Damme versus Black Eagle
8-8-10
Black Eagle's got the plane;
Van Damme's scenes ain't too lame.
The movie ain't about our man,
But when he shows up? Damn!
We see him do the splits --
When doesn't that give us the shits?
We see him pull some cheese,
Bring that on, please!
Black Eagle's got the item,
Sneaky, sneaky, time to fight him.
Boats encroach, Eagle floats --
Bad guys are gunna get him.
Go, Eagle, go--!
Ow, boater got punched;
Eagle's letting them float;
Aw, poor boater bystander!
Eagle plants.. a charge?
He swims away, pops up anyway;
They see Eagle too late --
POW POW POW POW.
Boater is tied,
In the water.
Eagle frees him -
Kapow -- bad guys fried.
Van Damme is due for a scene --
You just know that it's gunna
Be awesome. Pool boy death machine;
Someone's gunna get hit on.
Bring on the priest,
Cut back to Black Eagle;
Back to priest -- oh, crap:
He's getting followed.
Go, priest, go.
WHERE IS VAN DAMME?
Aw, shit, priest:
You found Black Eagle!
Where ya two goin'?
Is that something I should be knowin'?
Yer bein' followed, fools.
Russian dude, again?
Aw, snap, Black Eagle
Likes corners.
The blond looks like
Titus' TV girlfriend.
It's 1988,
And high pants are all the rage;
Van Damme keeps wearing
Wrestling belts?
Meeting with Secret Agents,
Debriefing commence.
What's with
All the cop glasses?
Everyone's looking
For a plane,
Crash-landed near shore.
Hoboy.
"Damnit, there have been
People killed!"
"Tell me about it!
I've killed 6 of them!"
